Motivation to Adopt June 25, 2010

I apologize for being so silent on my blog.  Life has been full and there hasn’t been anything that I was compelled to share.

I get an email with new articles and videos from “Empowered to Connect“, an online resource from Karyn Purvis, the author of “The Connected Child“, a wonderful book that guides and educates on the subject of raising a child “from the hard places”.  I love and appreciate all that she has to share and would like to share the latest email I received with you.

It is entitled, “Adoption From the Inside Out“, and deals with our motivations to adopt and what we should realistically expect durign the adoption process – not just the paperwork/legal part, but the issues you will be facing once the child is home.  Read a portion of the post:

At its core, adoption should not be a humanitarian cause aimed at “rescuing” a poor, orphaned child or “fixing” a broken child, as heartbreaking as their children’s realities may be. It is equally important not to adopt in order to try to prove something or to make a point, nor because it is the “in” thing or even the “Christian thing” to do. Invariably, motivations such as these can cause a parent to bring a great deal of unnecessary “baggage” to the new parent-child relationship, resulting in unrealistic expectations, disappointment and a host of other negative outcomes.

 Instead, a primary motivation for adopting must always be love — love that a parent has and is willing and able to unconditionally give to a child for a lifetime. This love is not merely a sentiment or a feeling, but rather a true commitment of the heart, soul, mind and body. Motivated by this kind of love, parents are far better well-positioned to partner with their child in order to build a healthy and trusting relationship. With this foundation parents can then begin to empower their children, help them heal and allow them to fully experience the blessings of a forever family.

 Ultimately, adoption must be more about the child than it is about the parent. Although there is no denying the “mutual blessing” of adoption, it is essential that parents be willing to ask themselves difficult questions and provide honest answers to ensure that they are properly motivated and can thus provide the necessary foundations for a healthy relationship and a positive outcome.

 The girls and I watched the Disney movie “Tarzan” tonight.  I never used to cry when I watched that movie, but ever since we adopted the girls I have.  The part that touches me is when the mother gorilla comes across baby Tarzan at the site of his parents’ murder by the leopard.  She automatically has a desire to care for and protect this baby.  He is “different” from her, but she loves and accepts him anyway.  You see as the movie goes on that it is a life commitment for her.  Difficulties do not make her change her course.  The story is a beautiful picture of the heart of adoption. 

Have a great weekend!

Slumdog Millionaire July 4, 2009

I first heard about this movie one day when I was getting my hair done.  The gal doing my hair wasn’t my regular person, but she had done my hair a few times and knew that we had adopted girls from India.

She asked me if I had seen the movie.  I have to admit that I am usually fairly unaware of the current movies that are playing at the theater.  I may pick up on a kid-friendly movie, but usually just don’t pay attention.  When she mentioned this movie, I hadn’t heard of it.

She told me some about the movie and then wondered aloud if it could really be “that bad” in India.  I assured her that it was, “that bad”, not having seen the movie, but going on her descriptions. 

Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to watch this movie.  I wasn’t sure if it would be too upsetting to see.  I knew that it was the story of children who lived in slums and that bad things happen to them. 

We rented the movie and watched it last night.  It was a transfixing movie.  You find yourself drawn into this suspenseful and tragic story of these three children trying to survive in the frightening atmosphere of a Mumbai slum. 

We saw only one slum when we were in India.  And, quite frankly, I did my best not to look (or smell) while we walked through it.  Oddly enough, that slum was on the way into the Taj Mahal.  Interesting, huh?  That is India for you – full of contradictions.

We did see numerous street people living under a tarp or just on the side of the street within New Delhi.  We also saw lots of very poor “dwellings” in “towns” we drove through on the highway to Agra.  It is overwhelming just seeing that much.  Being in India left me feeling like there was this huge number of people needing help and where do you start?

One of the wonderful things about international adoption is the fact that you get a peek into another culture and expand your view of the world.  As anyone who has adopted from another country will tell you, there is an impression tattooed into your heart when you visit the country and as you educate yourself about your child’s place of birth.  You care about it in a way that is hard to explain.

As I watched this movie and saw the fate of some of these children living in the harsh life of a slum or the streets – what kept going through my mind is that my little girls could have been there.  That could have been their fate.  Through the grace of God, that is not their reality.  Praise the Lord!

How do we reconcile all the evil in this world?  If it horrifies me, what does God think of it?  Sin has ruined God’s perfect creation.  But, we haven’t been left without hope.

Ephesians 2:1-10

¹ And you were dead in the trespasses and sins ² in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— ³among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. ⁴But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— ⁶and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.