I apologize for being so silent on my blog. Life has been full and there hasn’t been anything that I was compelled to share.
I get an email with new articles and videos from “Empowered to Connect“, an online resource from Karyn Purvis, the author of “The Connected Child“, a wonderful book that guides and educates on the subject of raising a child “from the hard places”. I love and appreciate all that she has to share and would like to share the latest email I received with you.
It is entitled, “Adoption From the Inside Out“, and deals with our motivations to adopt and what we should realistically expect durign the adoption process – not just the paperwork/legal part, but the issues you will be facing once the child is home. Read a portion of the post:
At its core, adoption should not be a humanitarian cause aimed at “rescuing” a poor, orphaned child or “fixing” a broken child, as heartbreaking as their children’s realities may be. It is equally important not to adopt in order to try to prove something or to make a point, nor because it is the “in” thing or even the “Christian thing” to do. Invariably, motivations such as these can cause a parent to bring a great deal of unnecessary “baggage” to the new parent-child relationship, resulting in unrealistic expectations, disappointment and a host of other negative outcomes.
Instead, a primary motivation for adopting must always be love — love that a parent has and is willing and able to unconditionally give to a child for a lifetime. This love is not merely a sentiment or a feeling, but rather a true commitment of the heart, soul, mind and body. Motivated by this kind of love, parents are far better well-positioned to partner with their child in order to build a healthy and trusting relationship. With this foundation parents can then begin to empower their children, help them heal and allow them to fully experience the blessings of a forever family.
Ultimately, adoption must be more about the child than it is about the parent. Although there is no denying the “mutual blessing” of adoption, it is essential that parents be willing to ask themselves difficult questions and provide honest answers to ensure that they are properly motivated and can thus provide the necessary foundations for a healthy relationship and a positive outcome.
The girls and I watched the Disney movie “Tarzan” tonight. I never used to cry when I watched that movie, but ever since we adopted the girls I have. The part that touches me is when the mother gorilla comes across baby Tarzan at the site of his parents’ murder by the leopard. She automatically has a desire to care for and protect this baby. He is “different” from her, but she loves and accepts him anyway. You see as the movie goes on that it is a life commitment for her. Difficulties do not make her change her course. The story is a beautiful picture of the heart of adoption.
Have a great weekend!