As a mom of adopted children from another culture, I am interested in how they will adjust and relate to a new family and culture as they grow up. It might be different when you adopt an older child because I assume that they “know” who they are. (I may be wrong about this and it might differ from child to child.) They have memories of their country and how they lived there. They may even have memories of their family. But, for a child adopted very young or as an infant they may not have that grounding experience.
I just read this great article on Rainbow Kids.com that was written by a girl who was adopted as a toddler from China. It is about her questioning her identity and her journey in discovering who she is. I have an excerpt here:
I’ve always wondered what people think when my family and I are out together. Do they see what I see: two parents and their three children? Or do they see two Americans, their two sons, and mentally check me off as my older or younger brother’s girlfriend? Do they even think about what they see, or am I just obsessing over the minor details?
For a long time, I hoped I was just obsessing, because it was those sorts of questions that made me feel insecure about my place in my family. Those questions made me doubt myself, and, as cliché as it seems, they made me wonder about my identity.
Please do go read the entire article. It is good information if you have an adopted child or if you are friends or family of someone who has adopted. I love hearing this from the adopted child’s point of view.