Goodbye Ordinary

I will recount the steadfast love of the LORD, the praises of the LORD, according to all that the LORD has granted us. Isaiah 63:7

Abandonment and Grief January 12, 2009

Filed under: Adoption,Faith,Grief — Lori @ 12:02 am

I have had some recent conversations that have made me realize that there are a lot of things about adoption that people who have not experienced it just don’t know.  This shouldn’t surprise me.  I was one of those people a year ago.

I have been asked if my girls had trauma in their lives before they came to us.  I honestly don’t know that much about their lives before they became part of our family.  However, even if the ONLY trauma they faced was being abandoned by the people who they should be able to count on, that would be enough.

The girls are very excited right now because a family that we know is going to India on Tuesday to meet and take home their new daughter from India.  She is a friend of the girls whom they lived with all three and a half years of their time at the orphanage.  This girl is thirteen and has waited for a family for over four years.  Kalindi told me that this girl would be sad and sometimes angry when families would come for other children.  Can you imagine the pain of waiting and wondering if someone was going to come and rescue you?  At fourteen years old in India, you are no longer adoptable.  Can you imagine the kind of life that might await her if this family was not adopting her?  Do you know how many orphans are waiting around the world right now, wondering if someone is going to take them home?  There are at least tens of millions, some estimate hundreds of millions.

Adopting an older child sounds pretty hard doesn’t it?  Well, it is, but it also isn’t.  What? 

I can’t think of a single thing in life that doesn’t seem daunting, if not impossible, when we are staring a new experience in the face.  Think about college, marriage, birth, shopping for a bra!  🙂

I certainly know that I am not capable of being a great mom for my girls.  Within my own power, I am not able to do it.  However, with God’s power and wisdom, I can.  I won’t be perfect, but I can do it.

One thing I am really having to work on in my own life right now is selfishness.  I had become used to a life where much of my time was my own.  I am starting to wonder if we should ever let ourselves get to that place.  Do you know what I mean?  In other words, we should never “retire”.  I am constantly reminding myself that my life is not my own and yet I really want it to be.

Our pastor used an illustration in his message this morning.  It was a quote from a missionary who was part of a team in the late 1800’s that went to the Fiji Islands.  They worked for ten years before they had a single convert.  The natives of this island were known for cannibalism.  This man was asked why he would take on such a task when they faced possible death.  The man said, “I died before I went there.”  Do you see what he was saying?  He laid aside his life to do what God had asked of him.  Isn’t that what we are commanded to do? 

Matthew 16: 24-26  Then Jesus said to His disciples, If anyone desires to be My disciple, let him deny himself [disregard, lose sight of, and forget himself and his own interests] and take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying, also].

For whoever is bent on saving his [temporal] life [his comfort and security here] shall lose it [eternal life]; and whoever loses his life [his comfort and security here] for My sake shall find it [life everlasting].

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life [his blessed life in the kingdom of God]? Or what would a man give as an exchange for his [blessed] life [in the kingdom of God]?

I used the Amplified Version because it spells it out so clearly.  Do I care about my comfort and security on this earth or do I care about eternity?  Jesus tells us to deny ourselves – lose sight of our own interests – and desire to conform wholly to His example.  That is not easy.  That is a battle that I am going to be waging every minute of every day for the rest of my life.

What is God asking you to do that sounds too difficult?  Do you have faith that He can accomplish it through you?  Of course He can!  Isn’t it exciting that He wants to use us?  What blessings God offers us just for being willing to empty ourselves and follow Him.

I feel like I have been rambling a bit.  I think there were too many different things rattling around in my brain that I wanted to share.  With all my heart I want to encouarge everyone to consider adoption.  Or, if there is someone you know who is looking into it, or in the process, join with them and encourage them as they journey along.  Give of your time and resources to adoption related agencies.  You don’t have to adopt to help an orphan, you can donate to Christian adoption agencies who have programs to help orphans like Children’s Hope International or Journeys of the Heart.

I would really appreciate it if you could join us in praying for our friends who are traveling to India in two days.  The travel is tiring and the time spent in New Delhi meeting their daughter, getting to know her, learning to communicate, taking care of paperwork, navigating a city that is foreign in every way you can imagine, eating food that isn’t familiar, you name it, is going to drain them physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  We are so excited to see them all come home together later this month!  It is so wonderful how God works and puts together families.  He is truly to be praised! 

Thanks for reading, Lori


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